Wednesday February 17th

Well, as promised I’m writing this morning, although I don’t have a list ready…thought I’d stick to the method of writing on the fly. For the first time in over 3 years of owning chickens, today I really didn’t like going out to feed them. Not that I don’t love my chicks, and not that I don’t love the winter and all this snow, but I don’t love all this snow! It wouldn’t be so bad if it was the initial 3 feet or whatever, but EVERY FREAKIN DAY there is new snow on the ground, on the feed bins, on the compost, on the lanai (the chickens lanai) and it gets on my pant legs in my boots (cause I don’t lace my boots to run out to the coop with water and food for 5 minutes) and my hands get cold and the chickens are running away from all the falling snow…it’s just so stressful for both me and the girls. Oh snow falling from the sky, I see you in slow motion today but you can’t fool me, you’re still falling and will accumulate! I’m pretty tired of it. We’ve had over 35” of snow this MONTH! And it’s only been 17 days! Average snowfall is less than 5”! I’m just pretty tired of it. Not the cold, just the constant new snow.

Whew! Breath...focus...

I felt like yesterday was a really great day. Not sure why, but after reading my post, I feel like I’m on the right path, whatever path that may be. I’m going to focus on what I’m passionate about and would love to do and have done for free for many years…grow stuff! I’m talking legal stuff…food! Even before my job at Grow Pittsburgh I had a garden in the neighborhood with local kids. I befriended them and let them participate mainly because when I told my neighbors what I was doing, everyone said, “good luck! The kids will just destroy it! You won’t get anything.” So I figured if they felt like it was theirs they wouldn’t want to destroy it. I was right, or the kids that would destroy it didn’t notice it, either way we had a nice harvest of peas and tomatoes, a great big “S” shaped cornfield and pumpkins! Yes, pumpkins, that I’m sure no one actually knew were there. But, alas, my neighbor whose yard I was using was moved to a nursing home and the house sold and was broken into apartments and the land was trashed with drywall and crap. That’s when I got a spot in a shared garden at the top of the cemetery. A valiant effort for 3 years resulted in little harvest due to the deer, groundhogs and other misc. critters that ate anything that sprouted! That was all before the farm and Grow Pittsburgh and now I’m working at Mildred’s Daughters Urban Farm, the only zoned farmland in the city of Pittsburgh. Last year we grew enough to feed 15 CSA families. It’s a great farm and working with Barb is great! She knows so much and she’s always learning, too! I’m glad to be a part of it…next best thing to owning a farm with only part of the responsibility!

So, I guess what I’m saying is for the first time in over 18 months I finally feel like I’m not trying to force something. I’m happy with where I am and confident in my new path…not exactly sure what that is but I’m almost there! One thing that makes me more confident is the fact that yesterday I was checking my bank account and discovered that the consolidation loan I took out 5 years ago is almost paid off. That’s all the debt I have from a span of 8 years of and 2 businesses. The amount in my checking account would cover the loan and leave me with $6!! Except for a parking ticket, I’m free and clear! No student loans, no credit cards, no mortgage, nothing! It’s a liberating feeling. I’m not going to clear out my account just to be done with it…it is February and the house and car may need something…but it’s really good to know that I’m almost done with that phase of my life. Now if I had just listened to Brett in the first place I wouldn’t have had credit cards and wouldn’t be in this mess, but in your 20’s you think you’ll eventually start making the big bucks and the bills will melt away. I just wasn’t that driven to sell my soul and generate that type of income…always trying to do the right thing and follow my heart…. which is how it should be.